I want to start off sounding reasonable and say that everyone plays games in ways that make their brain release massive amounts of dopamine. Whether you are taking down near-impossible bosses in Elden Ring or leveling up through the ranks in Call of Duty, we play these games because they bring us to a level of elation. These moments ignite the synapse between our brain cells and releases the “feel good” substance that keeps me going back for more. Now that I have spoken a truth and taken a more reasonable stance, I can tell you that World of Warcraft’s Mists of Pandaria Remix event has turned me into a complete and utter goblin of a human being who is hell-bent on leveling a massive amount of characters and chasing a carrot that simply isn’t there- and it feels damn good.
Back to Basics (Remix Edition)
Mists of Pandaria Remix brings players back to the beloved expansion with a bit of a twist that started innocently enough. This seasonal activity allows players to create new characters and run through the whole Pandaria expansion, albeit, with a few changes to the core gameplay loop. All the junk has been removed and instead you have a streamlined inventory, consisting of armor upgrades, a bunch of stat-boosting consumables, and gems that provide you with additional powers or stat increases. At the crux of this is a cloak that has it’s own set of stats that can be upgraded with threads, another material within the Pandaria Remix mode. Obtaining all of these materials is quite easy, all you have to do is play the game.
At the start, this seems innocent enough. It is a fun timed event that just opens the door to a time where we were all having fun before Warlords of Dreanor ruined it all. Or is it? Because after many hours, an amount I dare not speak of, I can say that it has devolved into a horrific experience that is turning everyone from average players into disastrous monstrosities, hell bent on obtaining as much bronze as fast as possible. I am systematically building an army of alts that I will never play simply to chase an intangible carrot that hangs off a stick, and I don’t even know what the carrot itself means to me. It is undefined. Ocillating between a meaningful reward for my time spent and the continuation of repeating my actions for the next fifty days or so.
This is all the fault of the cloak though. You can infinitely grind out the power levels till you become a literal god on the battlefield. It is so inherently broken, and I want to give Blizzard the benefit of the doubt, siding with the idea that this was all designed to hold that sense of original innocence. But, there is also no doubt in my mind that this culmination of massive power must have been calculated. I just can’t imagine a world where Blizzard wasn’t aware of how this could snowball into something much larger than itself.
As someone who is playing well within the confines of the game, I do feel only a little bit guilty. This is because I honestly don’t know the intention in which Blizzard wants me to play. There is typically a designated roadmap, a loop that has me chasing that carrot from before, but it was more defined. I knew what the carrot was a metaphor for, the culmination of power while looking fashionable.
Re-inventing the Treadmill
Within the confines of the core Warcraft experience is an infinite experience. Leveling isn’t the largest chunk of the game, it is all endgame activities. It’s akin to growing up and becoming an adult or building up your skills at an entry level job, only to gain that experience and become a master of your craft- or at the very least a respectable individual with ample knowledge to pass onto others.
Pandaria Remix is the opposite. It has a timer counting down the days, therefor making it a finite experience with a well defined kill date. Whether that timer shows 90 days or 30, the urge to take advantage of this seasonal activity for all it’s worth is paramount.
Often times I will pay for a ticket to an event and attempt to optimize my cost to enjoyment ratio. A human approach to spending a lot of money on something and not feeling instant buyers remorse when you find out the act you paid for is actually a cover band the entire time. It’s slightly disappointing but you’re here now and there are no refunds so you might as well make the most of the two-drink minimum that you weren’t aware of until you arrived.
Pandaria Remix is exactly that- an experience reduced to a single experience that is okay but more fun when I disregard the assumed intentions. Much like being conned into seeing my friend’s Foo Fighters cover band, it didn’t take long for my gremlin brain to become hooked to the gameplay loop that exposed the weak points within the system manufactured by Blizzard themselves, and all it took was the exposure to a few drinks.
Evolution to surpass the intentional systems constructed within Pandaria Remix’s structure was only bound to happen when someone pushed the proverbial door open. Unfortunately, this actually devolved the experience into an endless chase where happiness truly can’t be obtained because I don’t know what happiness really means besides the endless cycle of level-up animations and talent points.
The Method to my Madness
You can’t blame me. You know you’ve done the same. Once I discovered the formula, I started to also abuse it, and it was so easy! Much like Saruman being slowly corrupted by the influence of Sauron, I am too far gone. No longer can I stand there and complete menial tasks for the inhabitants of Pandaria. Fight your own war! I am here to gain levels and a currency that means nothing once this event ends! I simply cannot exist within the fantasy of the game anymore, I have ventured into the leveling meta that requires me to endlessly chase that feeling of power.
The way this all works is absolutely absurd because it doesn’t require much effort. That cloak given to you has an experience points boost. The more threads you have, the bigger that bonus becomes. Almost immediately, you can start jumping into random heroic dungeons which is where this process becomes real juicy. You jump in and since there are others who have been grinding out characters to such a point where they become invincible, you just run around with them and your experience bar starts filling up as they slaughter everything in front of them.
It gets better, you don’t have to do anything. Actually, it is almost better if you don’t. Because by leaving the bodies on the floor, you are secretly making the game collect all the loot to be mailed to you later. So if you throw on a podcast or the latest episode of the Bitcast while doing this, you too can experience the sound of Dan not giving a shit while your hunter gains 40 levels- the ultimate Warcraft experience if I do say so myself, but I digress.
After a few runs, you go to that mailbox and you just hit the good ole “open all” button and watch that bar fill up along with your inventory. You do this whenever you want, but I tend to do it right before I get to bed. With every level and talent point I gain, I become closer and closer to max level, obtaining massive amounts of power so I can become an unrelenting force of power, stomping closer and closer to the title of godhood.
But… Why?
Yes, this is not how we are supposed to play this, but since we started out on a good note, you are on my side now. We are in this together. Plus, whatever terrible thing you have to say to me for playing this way I have already said to myself. No one is more disappointed in me than myself.
But, why am I doing this? Why am I spending so little time skipping some of the best content in one of the best expansions ever? Because of bronze, my friend! A material that can be spent to purchase a slew of items. From fashionable outfits to mounts and even upgrading your gear, bronze is the currency that keeps our dreams alive in this activity.
Like any good title, fashion is the true endgame. Defeating bosses with overpowered magical powers? Pfft. It’s all about the fashion. The large plate armor on my troll glistens in the sun as I stand permanently in front of a mailbox. I’ll run over to the mount seller and purchase my fourth multi-colored goat that I will never ride! Maybe I’ll buy the cloth armor for a class I couldn’t care for. It doesn’t matter! Like Veruca Salt, I want it all! I must have the golden goose- erm… bronze goose! I must spend countless hours farming this currency so that when the event ends I can look back on it and never do it again.
…until they do it again.
Inevitable Withdrawal
When my coffers are picked clean, and my collection is filled to the brim with fantasy ostriches and dinosaurs, Pandaria Remix will come to a close. My list of 40 characters will be awaiting the next major step- The War Within expansion. I’ll look at the plethora of characters only to become paralyzed by the question: who do I choose?
The quick leveling will be gone along with displaying my prowess to kill dungeon bosses sight on seen. No longer will I have two Heroic Leap- the ability to launch myself across dungeons without a care in the world with the wind blowing in my hair as a boss embraces the cold hard steel of my blades. My whirlwind of rage and defiance against their existence will be quelled. I will become demoted from one of the most powerful and fashionable icons in Azeroth to a mere peon once again, waiting for Xal’atath to take me under her wing. Please don’t make me kill her, Blizzard.
Nevertheless, it is better to forgo those thoughts and focus in on the now. Instead of counting down the days till this whole thing ends, I should be grateful that I had this opportunity to see this side of myself. One that embraces the utter vitriolic nature of greed personified. I say I will no longer throw my head back in disappointment for seeing a player actually take their time instead of zooming through the level like a character in a Darren Aronofsky film; but I am a liar and should not be trusted with the freedom of my own machinations.
Instead, I must strive and channel Walter White in his final moments and come to terms with the truth- I love it and I am doing this because I’m good at it. I always embrace the chaos and will continue to appreciate the time I have with this event. Take in the environments one last time before it sinks into background noise for the second time. I will continue to roll new characters that I might not play, drift over fields that I will never set foot upon once again, and prepare myself for the next battle that awaits me, because eventually, we must all revert back to our natural selves. The sun will rise and I will meet it head on and accept the fate that power is an ever changing scale- and balance will be restored once again.
